Sonder
Eating disorders
Symptoms:
Being listless, withdrawn, emotionally numb, unexpressive, disinterested in activities, anti-social, and incapable of concentrating.
Gender:
Eating disorders of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are more common among women than men because more women are dieting to control their weight.
Statistics:
According to a ten-year study conducted by The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD), an estimated 11% of high school students have been diagnosed with an eating disorder.
What can you do about it?
1. Know the warning signs.
Disordered eating can manifest in many ways. If you notice things out of the ordinary, do your research: it's not all about restricting food or extreme dieting. Hiding food, eating at odd times, over-exercising, use of laxatives, obsessive portion-counting and calorie awareness, horrible self-confidence — all can be signs that something's severely wrong.
2. Don't buy into eating disorder myths.
Myth #1: You don't have to be painfully skinny to have an eating disorder. My childhood friend suffered from anorexia and exercise bulimia for years, and was never skin and bones; you can't "tell" from looking at a person. Myth #2: People with eating disorders are not horribly vain; they're in the grip of an obsession they can't control.
3. Be gentle and loving, rather than attacking.
Confronting the issue with a potential sufferer and letting them know you think they have a problem can seem daunting. A good way to go about it is to focus on you, not on them. What psychologists call 'I' statements — I'm worried about you, I noticed this about you, I am concerned — are more helpful and less attacking than 'You' statements — you've been losing weight, you seem out of control. It's all about being diplomatic. And pick a good place and time where they'll be comfortable and unstressed.
4. Encourage them to get help.
Treatment is hugely important for the potential recovery of any eating disorder sufferer. Obtaining help from a doctor, nutritionist, or in-patient facility may seem drastic, and may require a lot of convincing before your friend believes they have a problem — and it's a long, slow road from there. It may take multiple interventions over years: one conversation is unlikely to make an Aha! moment happen, so be prepared to keep gently pushing.
5. Refrain from criticizing yourself around them.
Don't talk about your body or the bodies of others in a negative way around them; they're hypersensitive to that sort of discourse. "Oh my god, I look like a heifer" is not helpful, even if it's followed by "But you look beautiful!"